Chapter Thirty-Four: Giving Up Is What Gravity Doesn’t Do

My manager told me that I need to pack up my belongings and get out of the building. The best part about this, being that they never said I couldn’t dance the entire time while doing it.

If you really want to do a Thriller dance re-enactment, do me a favor and remember that you’re 38 and you’ll never be cool in the eyes of your children.

Caffeine is an addictive substance, just like working at 8 am seems to be addictive to people as well. Where’s the health advisory about working too much?

Comfort in a Rape Fantasy is kind of like asking to watch a football game in the South and not meaning the NFL.

Punctuation, Exclamation, and Question are all terms of English class. To be a rebel against The Man, you must know and love your common English weapons.

“I gave up.” – person that no one cared to get to know that worked 40 years in an office while three people remembered their name.

“Always keep a Boomerang handy. Then, if you get caught into a social situation that is uncomfortable, you can throw it and tell everyone to duck for when it comes back. You throw it, and then just run in the opposing direction of the Boomerang. A smoke pellet works too.” – Australian Ninja Training Seminar

I feel like the size of the Christmas Party denotes the success of the business. This is the case of the PhD. If you own a PhD, a Christmas Party will commence in proximity of your brilliance. That says one thing to me: Get a Holiday that doctors like, and milk it for all it’s worth.

“The Path to Hell is paved with Good Intentions”, which makes it the lest boring place to be, right? I’ll live on 823 Hell Path Road, thank you very much.

I live with cats. So, naturally, when I want to go bananas on the toilet paper roll, I frame the cats like the life-sucking additions to chores they are.


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