Chapter Thirty-Five: L.O.V.E. Spells Free Without Fee

“Almost” should be thought of as a food seasoning. A sprinkle it on for some doubt or dump a vial of it on for constantly, vague allegory.

You can’t spell Free without Fee. When the Stripper says it’s free, IT IS NOT SPELLED WITHOUT A FEE. My father taught me that when I was seven.

The idea of children playing “House” and not one of them brings up the “Asian Marathon Sex Talk” shows just how innocent they are.

If you dunk on someone in a wheelchair, does that mean you are pro-competition and anti-crippled people?

I used to work at a warehouse where the days without an accident was on a chalk board. I learned quickly that is a common practice of a very dangerous facility.

If you’ve never driven a stick before, the first rule is that this stick isn’t related to the Pogo Stick from your childhood.

“If I fail but learn something in the process, what am I if not just a super-villain in training?” – an Intern at the League Of Villainous Evils

Baby Teeth are the simplest way to argue that the second time around is always the same as the first of anything. Teeth are especially known for coming back, as teeth.

Pyrotechnics are not a way to welcome in Little Billy to his first day at 2nd Grade.

If I would have been the guy that said, “No Mom, I will not help you with your computer problems for free. Not you or anyone else!” I’d have my minions looking around like failed Matrix extras in ties with “Geek” tagged on the side of their Volkswagon too.


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