Chapter Thirty-Six: What’s Two Sides To Two Worthless Coins, Anyway?

If you take a call on your phone in a car and have the roulette noise from Mario Kart playing in the background, you’ll brighten someone up.

I like to spice things up in my friendships. So, If I take a call from the road, I have the Mario Kart “Item Roulette” noise at the ready.

Do you think the Pope laughs extra hard at people who tell him he’s going to hell? “Glen, I’m at the top of the deity pyramid. I’m the Pope. When God’s there to fart out a prophecy, I’m there. I’m so close that my dick can almost touch his toe. Glen, you can go to Hell.”

The Pope was the first original Comedian. He once had a joke about a Man in the Sky.

If you say that you support White Men Can’t Jump, elaborate further. That White Men Can’t Jump is the story about White Men sitting down instead of jumping. Sitting at computers. In the 90’s. It’s a story about The Man, The Tech Bubble, and then the boorishly unpleasant racial stereotypes.

The “White Men Can’t Jump” script had trouble getting initial traction due to its plot with “White Men” and the fact that jumping dictates nothing about social status.

My girlfriend just read to this exact point in the blog and said that the top of this could be cut. The getting the shit out of your system is good I agree. So I have decided to layer that shit icing with more shit cake and shit truffles that’ll show, in shit calligraphy, that this is still a play on two jokes for the same subject. Until the shit hits gravity.

Gravity is the eternal punchline in the “shit rolling downhill” metaphor. You owe Gravity a nice Sunday Brunch for having your back all the time.

If you ask your date to play Kill-Fuck-Marry, you’re kicking the weird into overdrive because the answer to all three of those could be you.

I feel like the game Kill-Fuck-Marry is for single people. Because most married couples live in a world where the answer to all three is quite obvious, someone I don’t know.


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